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Self-care and self-compassion

This National Self-Care week we are sharing an article, originally written by MHFA England, to highlight the importance of both self-care, and self-compassion to our overall wellbeing.

While self-care – taking time for ourselves to recharge – is vital, it's just the beginning of what we need for true wellbeing.

Self-care practices like cosy evenings or quiet moments for yourself can certainly help reduce stress, but lasting resilience requires self-compassion. Being kind and understanding towards ourselves, especially in tough moments, builds a foundation for growth.

Self-compassion allows us to navigate setbacks without harsh criticism, offering ourselves the same empathy as we would give a friend or work colleague. It is important to note the difference between these two core principles and why we need both in our lives.

  • Self-care: This is all about the day-to-day activities we undertake to look after ourselves. Practical things that you can do for yourself to support your own mental wellbeing like spa days, eating chocolate, going for a walk or practicing yoga.

    But it also can be choosing those ‘harder things’ like making the appointment to see your GP, having those difficult conversations, and learning to say no to people who demand your attention and time constantly. It could also be just as simple as switching off your phone and acknowledging that you need some time out to recharge.

  • Self-compassion: This is the way you talk to yourself, your mindset, and the inner dialogue. It’s about turning compassion inwards. It’s about being kind to ourselves rather than critical when we fail or make mistakes. We need to give ourselves support and encouragement rather than being cold or judgemental when challenges and difficulties arise.

    It’s not just about taking bubble baths and lighting candles although these things can really help at times. It is about the thoughts and comments that run through our mind, that inner voice telling us we are no good or we are at fault. We often are harder on ourselves than we would be to our friends - so ask yourself would I say this to my best friend if they were going through a similar thing in life?

Going deeper

Giving ourselves a hard time doesn’t make us feel any better. Most people find it much harder to treat themselves with compassion. We tend not to be taught how to be self-compassionate and yet this is vital to our wellbeing and will help us make mental health a priority in the workplace.

Paying attention to those inner voices, and supporting colleagues to do the same will make a huge impact in our workplaces. Once we begin to recognise these voices you can find ways of dealing with them and addressing them.

Dr Kristen Neff’s (University of Texas) research on self-compassion involves three core elements: mindfulness, self-kindness, and common humanity. Dr Neff believes that by practicing mindfulness, being kind to ourselves, and general humanity we have a higher chance of achieving happiness and self-compassion in our lives.

By nurturing both self-care and self-compassion this National Self-Care week and beyond, we can significantly enhance our overall wellbeing. While self-care practices offer temporary relief, self-compassion provides a lasting foundation for resilience. By recognising our inner critic and replacing it with kindness and understanding, we can cultivate a healthier and more fulfilling life. Remember, self-compassion is not selfish; it's essential for our mental health.

 

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